Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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