addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
