Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
