Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
