sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
