im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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