are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
