Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
