the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
