I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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