Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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