eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
