How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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