i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize