I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
