it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
