So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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