I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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