i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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