She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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