I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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