You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
