Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
