ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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