Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sober January is a disaster.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
