it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize