just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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