Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
