So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize