My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
