Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
