Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
