I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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