he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
not ubering you a puppy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
