You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
