His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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