my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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