Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
