Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
