I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
