..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
