That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
