hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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