After last night, I could never be a politician.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
