i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
