4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
