She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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