Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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