windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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