called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
