I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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