I wanna passion pit in your ass
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
