The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
