I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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