You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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