the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
