Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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