he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
