I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
be right there i have to get my cape
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
