I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
