id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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