a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
