I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I pour the whiskey from now on
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
