They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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