all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
