wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize