It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
