I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
