Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize