I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Why can't burritos get me drunk
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
