DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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