i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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