dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
