member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
