im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
